Joy not happiness

As I was cleaning and organizing my numerous journals and planners, I stumbled on one of my journal entry I wrote April 10, 2014 at 4:32pm at the Central library. There was no title on it.

Here it goes...

There is one philosophy that says that there is always a choice and there is no such thing as "No choice". Everything you do in life  is based on the choices  you've made, whether good or bad.

So everyday, I try to choose happiness  over other things like sadness,  grief, depression, stress , homesickness, loneliness and anger. Although, there are times I fail. It's hard to choose happiness especially when there are hard and difficult situations. When tough times come, happinedd fade away.

King David once wrote in Psalms "For our heart rejoices in Him, because we trust in His holy name." Despite of his adversities in life, still he was able to write about rejoicing.  So I realized happiness is baded on circumstances  while joy is deeper than that.

In Rick Warren's book "Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough ", he defined Joy as the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence  that ultimately  everything  is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation. 

Wow! That is hard; to praise God in every situation.  How could I even praise Him when I'm sick, when a family member died, when you're failing, when you're unemployed and full of debt.

Yet, just the assurance that God is sovereign in our life can make us shout for joy.

I hope I could always choose to be joyful despite and inspite of different circumstances. 💕

5 years today! Yahoo!

Its been 5 years since i first arrived here in Calgary. I remember I was thin, unconfident and a bit worried of my future here. God removed me from my comfort zone - Philippines, to brought me here. I was a teacher  with 5 years experience back home, but when I arrived here, i am back to square one.

I had struggles and frustrations. My first 2/3 years was for me the hardest. But despite of the heartaches, the Lord gave me Emma. He also gave me family, church, and friends. Sooner or later, i felt home already.

Today, my 5th year! I cant help but look back to  what i had and became. I am forever grateful to the Lord for His sustenance and grace. He is always faithful to me. He showed love, mercy and grace everyday.

This might sounds cliche but Happy Anniversary to me! I might do this yearly recap to remind me of God's goodness to me through out the year.

How am I doing lately?

It's almost a month and a half since I started my new work as a daycare worker. It was very different working with kids. I was assigned in bigger toddler (between 24 months to 35 months). Honestly, I got so cultured shock. I had mixed emotions for a couple of weeks. My first 2 weeks was the toughest. I cried almost everyday after work. I'm having mixed emotions. I miss my friends in value village. I don't have friends yet in my new work. I just considered them as colleague.

Aside from that, I feel sad for the kids left in the daycare because they always look for their parents. Me as a parent, my heart hurts everytime a child ask for his mom. I remember my own Emma. She was so blessed that she stayed home with my husband and my mother-in-law. I have to comfort each child and assure them that their mommy or daddy will pick them up after work.

I complained almost everyday because of the difficulties at work. I talked to my parents. They advised me to pray. I talked to my aunt. She reminded me that I prayed for a new job and here is the new job and I still complain. And then, I started a new devotional about being thankful. I also prayed more and commit my new job to the Lord. And day by day, I still struggle. But the Lord changes my heart. The Lord gives me peace of mind. I accept my reality and tried to find peace with my situation.

I realized, the more I trust Him with my life, the more peaceful I am. And He surprised me with a blessing that I am not expecting. The Lord is good. He never will leave you nor forsake you. He will never let His child fall down in a very deep pit of mysery. He will pull you up in the right timing of your life.

Right now, I'm still struggling at work. But I am excited for the coming days; excited how the Lord will prepare the way for me. 

I've move out from home

Today, I've move out from home; not literally but figuratively. Today is my last day at work in Value Village. Ive worked there for 4 years, 7 months and 10 days. I've seen people come and go. I've had my good days as well as my bad days. I've cried sad tears and happy tears. I've had my share of laughter, sadness, and sometimes frustrations. But all of these experiences made me a better person. Vv is my home. But it's time for me to move out.

I know this would be another challenge for me, as well as new adjustments. But in order to grow, I need this.
I will miss everything and everybody at VV. I will keep in touch, hope they would keep in touch also.
Thank you everyone for everything! Love you all. 💕

The end of an era

Im hired! That's a good news I am going to announce! For about 2 months, I am looking for a job. Job interviews are so tedious and sometimes frustrating.
And finally, all the hardwork paid off. I have a new job that will start on March 05.

I'm excited for this new job but sad to leave value village (VV). Vv is my 3rd home, next to my family and church. This is my first and only job before this daycare. VV is my comfort zone. And now I am leaving my comfort zone.

So an era ended, a new one will begin. I am excited and looking forward to this. I know the God who sustained me for 4.5 years in VV, 2 months of job hunting will also sustain me here. I'm also thankful for my family, friends and churchmates who've been praying for/with me. 

This start of a new era is a reminder of God's goodness in my life.

An answered prayer

An answered prayer

The Lord has answered one of my prayer requests. I've been praying for this. I've been struggling with this. And the Lord hears my prayers and also the prayers of family, friends and churchmates.

I will posts it soon when I am ready to share it to everyone. God bless you  

God's reminder is always timely

God's reminder is always timely.

For a week and a half I've been struggling with my health. I've been on and off dizzy / lightheaded. I've been to the doctor on and off since last year. I'm taking iron, taking good sleep, more liquid. My bloodwork are normal. Not anemic anymore. My BP was fluctuating last week but it seems ok now.
So in general, I'm not feeling well for almost 2 weeks already. Ive visited the doctor a lot of time. I've cried about this to the Lord last night. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.

But today, God reminded me of His grace and power. In our Sunday school, I taught about the story of a woman who were bleeding for 12 years. The story is found in Mark 5:25-34. When she touched Jesus' clothing, she was healed. And Jesus told her that "your faith has healed you" (Mark 5:34).

That story reminded me of my personal experience 15 years ago. I was first year in the bible school and I also experience bleeding for 3 weeks. But God healed me.

God has never changed. He is our greatest healer, My Jehovah Rapha. I'm not yet healed. Im still feeling light headed as of this moment I am writing this. But I can be assure that God will heal me. Maybe I had some unbelief. I just need more faith.

Lord, Please remove my unbelief and help me to put my trust in you. Amen. 

Job Hunting 101

I'm in job hunting again. I am looking for a work in childcare. I've worked for 4.5 years in value village and I think it's time for me to move on. I love my work there and I love working with my friends there. Actually, it was my first job here in Canada. The people there are family to me. But I think I've been staying so long that I don't grow anymore as a person. That place is so comfortable and relaxing. I need more challenging job.

Job hunting, submitting resumes, applying for work, interviews are a bit tedious. It was 5 years ago since I had my first interview here in Canada. But I know, my God who brought me here in Canada will also sustain me as I look for another place to work. Please pray for me as I go to this whole cycle of job hunting again. 

Happy New Year

2017 was really a great year for me and my family.
We started the year with a 3-week vacation in the Philippines. I finished my 5 courses this year. I had my GDL (learner's) license. Emma turned 2 this year. Mike and I celebrated our 5th year anniversary last May. This is my 4th year here in Calgary.

God is good all the time! I am so excited to start a new chapter in my life.
Happy New Year everyone! Thanks to all my family and friends who made 2017 a very wonderful year!

2018, bring it on!